Sad to say that I remember the days when having manners was an admirable quality. Even a little spanking was not a bad thing…a few taps with the wooden cake spoon to batter your backside. The living room was reserved for people who didn’t live there. And if you were invited in…only your eyes could move.
My mom was not joking around with these rules. Don’t ask to change them or switch it up – no way! She was “The Boss.” And, this rule spanned homes, regions and cities. I respected her work. Goodness, I was a product of that effort. “The Boss” taught me that sometimes respect is demanded. A nice young lady, “Sandra”, who is 6’2”, decided to plunk her size 14 hooves on a pristine round mahogany coffee table, in a home that has never glimpsed a spec of dirt. My mother was patient. She looked at her once and said, “Take your big feet off the table!” “Sandra” responded “They’re clean.” And, “The Boss” responded with, “Slap…now take your feet off.” This worked instantaneously. No one in the room questioned, who’s “The Boss.”
These are life lessons one never forgets. Years later, the torch was passed on. It’s me and a little girl named “Shawn.” Her mother was young so “Shawn” was mistakenly in charge. Right away you see the problem. As far as I am aware, all parts on the child functioned except her ears. She walked, chatted till it became one long speech and ran up and down. Now, my only saving grace with “Shawn” was that she believed in God. And, it was the holiday season so I could add a little pressure, all things considered. Hey, “By any means necessary.”
If I had things my way, then I would have formally introduced any one of my wooden spoons to her backside. But, for obvious reasons scrap that plan. So I quickly opted for the illusion of a good ass-whopping. I called my “Aunt Joyce” and asked her where in the Bible is the scripture, “Spare the rod, spoil the child” and proceeded to expeditiously read this passage to “Shawn.” And for clarification, I gave a proper “Price Is Right” showcase demonstration of possible rods of correction. I displayed a lovely thick leather belt and various wooden spoons.
Yes, this created quite the stir and a miracle. “Shawn’s” ears began to work! She listened and my faith in the Lord was increased. Can, I get an Amen!